I checked myself into the local hospital Friday evening for chest pains, and just now managed to escape the place and go home. Despite the ER physician’s assurances that I was not in prison, I was not allowed to leave the premises until today, so I did not have my computer, a razor, and my toothbrush, let alone something to read or a radio.
We did not determine the cause of the pain. We determined that I had high blood pressure (I’ve always had very low bp), and a low heart rate. The causes were not determined.
Some of the folk there (the nurse assistants, and the cardiologist) were especially nice, informative, and helpful. Others, mainly a couple of nurses and a few doctors were completely incompetent deceitful liars.
Fairness warning: I am possibly the worst patient any medical professional could ever wish for. Every contact with the “medical arts followers” usually turns out bad sooner or later.
Here’s the story: My blood pressure readings were all over the map, high this time, low the next, something else the third time. Different on the machines vs manual. Different depending on who did it. Every two hours all weekend long, completely confusing data was generated, and drugs were specified in response which then made no difference. It was frustrating to everybody, but through it all I kept taking a drug that should have been appropriate in the situation that the cardiologist recommended. It didn’t work, but it didn’t do any harm.
Today a doctor unfamiliar with what had happened over the weekend jumped in and doubled the dosage on that drug, which was too much for me. When I asked her on what basis she did this without talking to me, she blamed two nurses and the cardiologist before admitting she did it. When I asked her if she reviewed the chart for the weekend, she admitted she hadn’t. Barely able to walk or even stand up because of the overdose I made a scene. Everyone else knew there was something flakey going on, but she based her prescription on one reading without checking the others. I’m still waiting for that drug to wear off.
So I went in for chest pain, which was relieved fairly soon without knowing the cause, and discovered I have high blood pressure without knowing the cause or how to fix it. I do have prescriptions for five drugs which may not do anything useful.
I spent all weekend with only local TV for a distraction (no radio, no cable, no books, no magazines), only 2 hours of sleep at a time, and since I was there for chest pain my diet was low fat, low calories, and no salt. The kitchen (accidentally) gave me a cup of coffee once, and I managed to charm a couple of nurse assistants to get me two more cups over the weekend. I couldn’t shave, but I found a kids’ toothbrush to brush my teeth. One of the low-level assistants arranged a shower for me.
During the whole ordeal I was being given a whole lot of drugs, some of which were described as “usually needed by those in hospital” and when I challenged this completely ridiculous statement, I was asked if I wanted some anxiety medication. Jesus Christ, I get offered fewer unknown molecules at Burning Man. Unlike BM I was stupid enough to take all the crap they gave me; it will take days to get that shit out of my system.
I could pretty much have all the morphine I wanted, and it took away the pain quite well. Nice stuff, but after four doses I decided to call it quits, despite encouragement otherwise. In the ER I was asked what drugs I was taking. I said “You’ll see nicotine, alcohol, caffeine, ibuprofen, and marijuana” and at that last word the entire ER staff stopped and stared at me. When I accepted the offer of morphine, everyone turned away and went back to work.
If I wanted to conduct a war on drugs, I’d focus on hospitals, not kids selling bags of pot.
Enough bitching for now. I have to spend a night getting clean.